Deep change

Graduate school, oh how I love thee... I am in my third year of the Master’s program in Global Leadership at Azusa Pacific University http://www.apu.edu/bas/csdol/globalleadership. The year began with two-week intense classes Kyiv in August. It was our last in-class session together. I will miss my fellow students from all over Eurasia big time! We are such a diverse and fun group. I hope we can stay in touch over the years, and God willing, see each other again some time. Reunion, anyone?

After the classes are over, over the course of the year, we read books, write papers, and do projects. This Monday was the deadline for the first assignment. Oh well... hello again, late nights full of reading, writing, and higher-order thinking!... School is definitely another added dimension of my life, which I do enjoy greatly, even at the expense of my sleep deprivation and throes of exhaustion. 

One of the books we are reading this semester is called “Deep Change: Discovering the Leader Within” by Robert E. Quinn. In his book, Quinn talks about ‘deep‘ vs. incremental change. According to Quinn, deep change requires new ways of thinking and behaving; it distorts existing patterns of action and involves taking risks (p. 3). My definition of deep change, based on Quinn’s book, is positive transformational change that begins with yourself and becomes so contagious that others around you can’t but follow suit. It irreversibly transforms our identity, values and assumptions. 

I love the metaphors that Quinn uses to illustrate his points in the book. For example, a few of my favorite metaphors Quinn uses to illustrate the process of deep change is “walking naked into the land of uncertainty” and “to build the bridge as you walk on it”. I like both of them! I think they both have similar connotations. In order to embark on the journey of deep change, one has to be vulnerable and open (“naked”) enough to welcome change. The process of deep change should begin with such important components as reflection and self-awareness. But unless one “walks” or acts on those reflections, change will not take root or happen at all, for that matter. 

“The land of uncertainty” is a symbol of a plethora of various opportunities for our growth and transformation, as a result of change. When we set our mind and heart on experiencing a deep change in either our lives or organizations, it means we will never be completely certain at the beginning where this path will take us. Therefore, deep change requires faith, persistence and commitment to persevere in the face of resistance and opposition. 

Frankly, I dread and resist change. For the last ten years or so, I have been moving through so many transitions in my work and personal life that change has become the only constant of my existence. I do try to understand, approach, and respond to change in a positive and productive manner. But I often feel quite overwhelmed and confused with it. Therefore, I resist change by desiring to stay with what worked in the past and feeling comfortable with the way things have been. Needless to say, with constant change present in my life, I long for stability, predictability, and security. 

At the same time, I hate stagnation and status quo, whether it occurs in my work or personal life. As strange as it may seem, it is exactly this inner dichotomy between resistance to change and longing for it that keeps me going. I need to be challenged to feel alive. In order to renew and re-energize myself, I look for opportunities to step outside my ‘comfort zone’ and to get rid of old paradigms. In this case, I am usually disciplined, motivated and courageous. I do realize that it takes time, effort, and persistence to achieve and maintain any significant transformation and growth. However, when I observe even small developments during the process of deep change, I draw strength and meaning from that and can persevere until personal or organizational transformation is complete.    

Another metaphors Quinn is using to describe the alternative for deep change is “slow death” (p. 11). Probably my favorite quote from the book is:

“Each of us has the potential to change the world. Because the price of change is so high, we seldom take on the challenge. Our fears blind us to the possibilities of excellence - and yet another formidable insight. This insight concerns the price of not making deep change. That price is the choice of slow death, a meaningless and frustrating experience enmeshed in fear, anger, and helplessness, while moving surely toward what is most feared” (p. 11)

A trip to the Kyiv Zoo

Taking advantage of the beautiful fall weather, we ventured to the Kyiv zoo this weekend. http://zoo.kiev.ua/ 


The zoo is one of our favorite places to visit in Kyiv. First of all, it is big and spacious. Its natural conservation area is about 3.5 sq. km, and the display area is close to 2.2 sq. km. Secondly, it is quite old. It was 100 years old last year, to be precise! Thirdly, it is quite affordable: 25 UAH (3.5$ for adult visitors), 15 UAH (2$) for kids, age 5 and older, and free admittance for young children. In short, a perfect place for families to visit. 

Veronika and Erika were excited to run around and look at every animal we passed by: deer, bisons, bears, flamingos, giraffes, to name a few. They especially enjoyed the pavilion with all kinds of reptiles and amphibians. Laura was content traveling in her stroller, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air. 









Other than watching animals, the kids also played on several playgrounds that were on the premises of the zoo, as well as went on their first ever ride on a Ferris wheel! 


When Brian was not telling the kids more fun facts about the animals, he was improving his photography skills with our camera. It was a fantastic day. Here are a few pictures from our trip to the zoo. 

  

Laura's dedication

We, as a family, attend church every Sunday. Our church practices baby dedication instead of infant baptism. So last Sunday we dedicated our youngest daughter, Laura. Baby dedication was a ceremony in which we, as a family, made a commitment before the Lord to submit Laura to God's will and to raise her according to God's Word and God's ways. Brian and I made this promise to the Lord to do everything within our power to raise Laura in a godly way, until she can make a decision on her own to follow God.

I wrote a dedication prayer based on the prayers I read from Stormie Omartian’s book “The Power of a Praying Parent” given to me by my friend’s Mom. Our pastor Paul, Brian and I took turns reading parts of the prayer. Here is what we prayed for:

Lord, Brian and I submit ourselves to You. We realize that in order to parent Laura (Veronika and Erika) we need You to help us. We want to partner with You and partake of Your gifts of wisdom, discernment, strength, and patience, along with a generous portion of Your love flowing through us. Teach us how to love the way You love. Where we need to be healed, delivered, changed, matured or made whole, we invite You to do that in us. Help us to walk in righteousness and integrity before You. Lord, may the beauty of Your Spirit be so evident in us that we will be godly models for our children.

Proud Daddy and Daddy's girl

Lord, we come to You in Jesus’ name and give Laura to You. We are convinced that You alone know what is best for her. We rely on You in everything, and this day we trust our child to You and release her into Your hands.

Lord, we lift Laura up to You and ask that You would put a hedge of protection around her. Protect her spirit, body, mind, and emotions from any kind of evil or harm. Hide her from any kind of evil influences that would come against her. Help her to walk in Your ways and in obedience to Your will so that she never comes out from under the umbrella of that protection.

Lord, we pray for Laura to feel loved and accepted. Manifest Your love to this child in a real way today and hep her to receive it. Lord, we pray that You would help us to love this child unconditionally the way You do, and enable us to show it in a manner she can perceive. With each day that she grows in the confidence of being loved and accepted, as she comes to fully understand the depth of Your love for her, make her a vessel through which Your love flows to others. 

Lord, we bring Laura before You and ask that You would help her grow into a deep understanding of who You are. Open her heart and bring her to a full knowledge of the truth about You. May she call You her Savior, be filled with Your Holy Spirit, acknowledge You in every area of her life, and choose always to follow You and Your ways. Help her to fully believe that Jesus laid down His life for her so that she might have life eternally and abundantly now. 

Pastor Paul praying for Laura

Lord, we pray that You would pour out Your Spirit upon Laura this day and anoint her for all that You have called her to be and do. May she not be a follower of anyone but You, but may she be a leader of people into Your Kingdom. May the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, grow in her daily (Gal. 5:22).

May the truth of Your Word be firmly established in Laura’s heart so that her faith will grow daily and navigate her life. Help her to trust You at all times as she looks to You for truth, guidance, and transformation into Your likeness. We pray that Laura will have faith strong enough to lift her above her circumstances and limitations, and instill in her the confidence of knowing that everything will work together for good.

The whole fam

Why don't friends with kids have time?

I enjoy being a (part-time) working mother. It definitely has its challenges: constantly multi-tasking, carefully planning every minute of my life, missing doing things on the spur of the moment, sacrificing times to simply introvert or go out for coffee with a girl-friend whenever I want to. All of this gives a deeper meaning to the phrase ‘the joy of motherhood”. Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy being a mother. There is no bigger thrill in life for me than to watch my children grow and develop their character and personalities, discovering their God-given gifts and talents. Being a part of this life journey of theirs is a privilege. And a lot of work.   

One of my ‘mommy friends’ posted this article on Facebook. I thought I would re-post it here. It is from The Washington Post, TELL ME ABOUT IT rubric. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html

Why don’t friends with kids have time?

By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions. Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

Jurrasic park in Kyiv

Fall is not my favorite season. In Ukraine the sun usually disappears behind the clouds some time mid-October and we don’t see it until March. But I like the beginning of fall.Those spells of warm weather, when it is neither too warm, nor too cold, are perfect for family outings. Last weekend was just one of those times when all the Welches could be perfectly comfortable outside, without sweating or freezing too much. 

Laura sleeping peacefully in her stroller

My parents were in town. It was my sister’s birthday weekend. And to top it all, on Saturday morning, we all went to one of the largest gardens in Kiev that was transformed into Jurassic Park. See more info here:   http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/42517/  There it was - an exhibition of dinosaurs! Some were small, some were up to six meters tall, and some were up to thirty meters long. The kids had a blast. They definitely know more about dinosaurs than I do and could appreciate the exhibition more. It was fun watching them run around in amazement of all the sizes and shapes of those creatures. We finished the outing with a picnic lunch and a huge ball of cotton candy. Here are some pictures from our walk in the park:

Brian with Erika and Veronika next to one of the tallest dinosaurs

Family picture: three out of five actually facing the camera...
good enough at this stage of our life!

Do something!

This was my 2010 New Year’s resolution - to start writing a blog in order to remember how my life was when I look back at it years from now. There are so many things going on in it that I often could barely catch my breath. I do enjoy it, but can’t remember everything in detail when days go by so quickly and so lively. And I love details! 

I am also a perfectionist. Especially when it comes to writing. The theme, word choice, grammar - everything has to be perfect before anybody else could see it. Reading other people’s blogs full of deep thoughts and thought-provoking reflections, beautiful metaphors and vivid illustrations made me doubt the worth and value of my own creativity. Is it really worth putting it all up for everybody to read? 

Amazingly, I am not that strict with myself in the gym which was another 2010 New Year’s resolution of mine - to start working out regularly. My gym motto is “Do something!” [as opposed to nothing]. This probably drives my trainer nuts. Because for him if I do something somehow, and not how I am supposed to do it - at the right angle, in the right posture, the right number of repetitions, etc. - the result will be different. Even though I don’t pay him to make sure I do it all properly, he still cares enough about his job as a trainer, that he would come to me from time to time to show me how to do things correctly, bless his heart.  

Well, this was my metaphor for blog writing. I think both my trainer and I are right when it comes to practicing and improving. I will start with something. I will write at my own pace, using my own choice of topics to cover and issues to wrestle with. And maybe with time, and the right number of repetitions, I will produce something that will bring an even more amazing result.